Dealing with marriage & social problems, measuring our lives by verses of the great love chapter of the Bible, changing selfishness to God's love, challenge to serve freely.

Bible Studies for Women

Diary of a Selfish Christian

It's just not fair: one brown sock peeking out from under the recliner (and who knows where the other one is?); a brown and beige striped sport shirt crumpled under the stereo; and, slumped over the corner of the dresser, a pair of brown slacks spilling out a ring of keys and thirty-two cents.

"Love is patient..."

Here comes Diane again. Since she and her family moved next door last month, she has appeared at my door at least three times a week to "borrow a cup of sugar," or "see if you have a recipe for banana pudding." Once inside she'll follow me into the kitchen and ramble for two hours about her sister's wedding, or her gall-bladder surgery (I've heard that four times already), or what a great pitcher little Joey is. Maybe I'll tell her I don't have any -- no sugar, no recipes, no time.

"Love is kind..."

I wish she'd move again. Better still, I wish we could move to Lakeview Estates, like Sidney and Marie. What a house they've got. Split level with a sunken bathtub and private boat dock! And here I sit in this grey brick cracker box across from the convenience store.

"Love doesn't envy..."

Actually, I just don't have time to visit with Diane. I need to prepare for tonight's session of the ladies' Bible class I'm leading. Let's see...what is the topic? Oh, yes, the Golden Rule, I think. "And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also unto them likewise" (Luke 6:31). That will be easy. I've done that since childhood. I'll tell them how just last week I gave ten dollars to the collection for underprivileged children. Some people never stop and think about others' needs.

"Love...doesn't brag, is not proud..."

Like Tom for instance. You'd think a twenty-eight-year old man could pick up after himself. I got even last night though. Tom's new friend commented that he likes his home to look lived in. "That's one thing you can say for Tom," I quipped. "When he comes home, he immediately begins to add that lived-in touch. He doesn't even know we own a hamper!" Tom looked embarrassed, but it served him right.

"Love...doesn't behave itself inappropriately..."

He never thinks about me. When he decides to go somewhere, he just goes. And I'm stuck here to referee three kids. But he is always here at time to eat. Why doesn't he ever consider my happiness?

"Love...doesn't seek its own way..."

Maybe I'll just tell him what I think of his behavior.

"Love...is not provoked..."

I think he is selfish, inconsiderate, and immature!

"Love...takes no account of evil..."

I am a better person than he is. At least I'm not selfish!

Love...doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth..."

He will never change. And I'm tired of putting up with his selfishness!

"Love...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things..."

I think I'll just give up.

"Love never fails..."

Never?

God, my love fails. My love demands a return on its investment. My love is conditional.

O Lord, recreate me in your love.

Note: All circumstances and names in this diary are fictional.